Pleasure Blog

As a sex, dating, and relationship coach, I understand that some people learn best by reading. That’s why I’m constantly writing new blog posts about sex, dating, and relationships so everyone can access this information. I’m writing here to help you and to start a conversation.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How my Situationship Revealed my Attachment Issues | A guest post

Have you ever hooked up with someone and thought to yourself, "I am DEFINITELY not falling for this person! They're not even my type!"

Yeah, well, that's what happened to me. I fell hard for my "situationship," and they broke my heart.

But within that heartbreak, I unwittingly embarked on a journey of self-discovery as my own attachment issues came to light despite all my effort to hide from them.

In the pursuit of validity and orgasms, my situationship ultimately acted like a mirror, forcing me to confront the deep-seated attachment issues that had silently influenced my relationships.

It's funny how the relationships you fall into impact you the most.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

The Importance of Great Sex | How sex is beneficial for your physical, mental, and relationship health

Let's be honest here; great sex is a real game-changer. It feels good, fun and brings you closer to your partner. But did you know that amazing sex is also important for your health and happiness? That's right, it's not just about getting your rocks off. Sex comes with many unbelievable benefits, such as reducing your risk of stroke or heart disease, helping reduce the symptoms of depression, improving communication between you and your partner, and so on.

So grab a snack and a drink, sit back, and let me teach you the health benefits of sex.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to fix a lack of communication in a relationship | A relationship coach’s step-by-step guide

Communication is critical to the health of any relationship. Often, communication starts off as idyllic and healthy. Over time, it can break down and become strained; that's why you're here, right? If you and your partner are struggling with a lack of communication, you both must take steps to address the issue at hand. What is your overall goal? Improving your communication skills one day at a time. I will take you on a journey to fix the lack of communication in a relationship in this easy-to-understand guide.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Dating Duds? Set dating goals to cut the crap! | A step-by-step dating goal guide

Dating can be an exciting and nerve-wracking experience, especially if you need clarification about what you want. The prospect of setting dating goals may seem odd or even aggressive. But it's how you get clarity before you sink your teeth into the dating game (likely not for the first time.) It's also essential that you know what your dating goals are so you can communicate them clearly to a potential partner. That ensures you're both on the same page and have no unspoken expectations. In this article, I will walk you through identifying your dating goals so you can finally get started with intention and clarity.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Dating Someone With Depression | How you can support yourself and your partner

Mental health awareness is growing every day.

Depression is discussed in nearly every mental health forum, but if you're dating someone with depression, you may feel lost on how to help them.

The fact that you're doing research on this topic shows not only that you care but that you're likely a walking green flag of a partner. Dating someone with depression may seem daunting if you don't have it yourself. However, understanding just a little bit can put you miles ahead.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to Perform Cunnilingus | Cunnilingus tips, tricks, and techniques you need to know

Cunnilingus has gone from an unspoken pastime to the front page of every magazine. But most people struggle to understand how to give the best oral sex to a woman. The female gentiles have long been regarded as a mysterious zone without a surefire way to pleasure it. It is personal to each vulva owner. If you’re wondering how to perform cunnilingus, I’ll tell you all of the areas you need to learn how to tempt with your tongue.

Female oral pleasure shouldn't be a mystery. It should be part and parcel of every sexual encounter and experience.

Why?

Let me tell you why.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Sexless Relationship or Different Desire Types? | The three types of sexual desire and what you need to know

Arousal should happen spontaneously and impulsively, right? Wrong. Most people get "sex education" from pornography. We've learned that you should be drop-dead wet as soon as the sexy pizza delivery guy shows up. You should be down to get down. Well, this isn't the case for most of the world. In Emily Nagoski's landmark book, Come as You Are, spontaneous arousal is the exception rather than the rule. There are several types of arousal that you need to consider before you start worrying about your libido.

This won't be the definitive guide to discovering your one arousal type. But instead, give you permission to be curious about which type you feel like each day.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Why You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals | How to build self-trust

We're well into another year, and the time for resolutions has come and gone. You've disappointed yourself again and fallen far from where you wanted to be. That's a normal part of the process of reaching your goals, but should it be? There is a reason why you never follow through on your resolutions. There's a reason why you keep disappointing yourself. There's a reason why you feel stuck and lost. You need to include the secret ingredient of reaching your goals, self-trust.

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Sex Elaine S. Turner Sex Elaine S. Turner

Why You Need to Buy a Penis Ring: What they are and how they help your sex life

Erections are temperamental, to say the least. There are two common complaints among penis owners (hereafter called "men" in this article for brevity.) The first is that they ejaculate too early for their liking. The second most common complaint is that you either can't get or stay hard. Enter the penis ring, also known as a cock ring. These simple, affordable, and reusable devices can help remedy many men's issues with their penis.

I get a lot of questions about penis or cock rings, so today, I" m here to answer your most asked questions.

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Dating Elaine S. Turner Dating Elaine S. Turner

What Does a Dating Coach do? Why you need a dating coach in 2023

Dating coaching is a new advent in finding "the one." Since the pioneers of the matching-making field first arose on social media, the niche has become filled with wannabes and credentialless people trying to help. But one facet of dating coaching many miss. It's the one that sets working with me apart from the noise. It's the you factor. Learning the rules and mechanics of how to look and sound right is essential. However, until you know who you are, you'll keep settling for the wrong person repeatedly. That's what a dating coach does. We help you clarify who you are and solidify who you're looking for. That way, you can go out into the dating world with confidence and a discerning eye.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Are You in a Situationship? Here’s why and how to stop tolerating the dating grey area

Situationships are a hugely controversial topic in the world of dating coaching. It may feel easy to settle for what feels like the only person who will give you the attention you crave. But by settling for someone who refuses to acknowledge your presence in their life, you're doing yourself a huge disservice. Situationships are a plague to those looking for love. They can cover you like a wave of locusts and pick your love optimism to the bones. Don't fall for the situationship cycle. Start changing your experience now.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to Get Space in Your Relationship: Differentiation of self - what it is, why you need it, and how to get it

Relationships can be amazing things. Your partner can be supportive, fun, and your best friend. But on the other end of the spectrum, what happens when you get too close? What happens when you become a singular item and can't get any space for yourself? Resentment builds. Being too close to your partner can actually be a bad thing. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Relationships aren't two halves coming together. They're two whole individuals choosing to be together. They're meant to be complementary, not complete you. You're complete on your own.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys for Men: Your ultimate buying guide

The number of female sex toys on the market is overwhelming. Aren't men supposed to have a higher sex drive? You wouldn't be able to tell from looking at the shelves of most sex toy stores. When you finally find the small section dedicated to male pleasure, you may not know what you're looking at. That's okay! That's why I've put together this beginner's guide to sex toys for men. After reading this, you'll be confident walking into adult shops worldwide.

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Sex, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Want More Sex in Your Relationship? - My secret tool for bringing back the sex

I've written a lot about how important it is to keep dating your partner. But, I still need to give you my fundamental secret tool, how you can work together to plan a date. Using the 5 love languages to plan date nights is a great way to be thoughtful without putting in too much thought.

These are specific love-language-speaking-intimacy-building-memorable-date-night plans. And yes, it does require a little planning and effort up top. But if you do it properly, you should have years of date nights planned ahead.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

What is a Self-care Menu? Why you need one and how it can help you avoid depressive episodes

The self-care menu is something that I came up with myself to help me cope with depressive episodes.

That's right, even a coach can have depressive episodes.

But the menu is one of the many coping mechanisms which help me get through dark and challenging times.

Just what a self-care menu is, you'll have to keep reading to find out.

By the end of this article, you'll have yet another healthy coping mechanism in your pocket. These self-care menus can help you get through the challenging parts of life easily.

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Sex Elaine S. Turner Sex Elaine S. Turner

How I Navigate Love With an Age Gap (Guest Post)

How do I navigate love with a large age gap? Can a relationship survive a 10+ year age gap? What are some strategies for navigating an age gap in a relationship?

Finding love is not easy. It can seem like a never-ending cycle of bad dates, ghosting, and just plain shitty people. The best thing is when you find the love of your life and then life tosses you a minor curve ball in the form of an age gap. Here’s how I navigate love with an age gap.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Friends as an Adult - Why you need them and where to make new friends

If you're anything like me, making friends is a challenge. Especially if you're new to an area or you've lost contact with the people in your past, it's a daunting prospect. You weren't taught how to make friends as an adult. So, it's normal to feel paralyzed.

If you're unsure how to make new friends as an adult, let's work through it together.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to Handle Rejection From a Guy | A step-by-step guide to help you handle rejection

Dating is a vulnerable experience. You put your heart on your sleeve and try to put yourself out there with great care. But with vulnerability comes hurt, rejection, and questioning your worth. It's all part of the process of how to handle rejection from a guy. Learning how to handle rejection gracefully and cope with it can be a process full of hurt.

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