Pleasure Blog

As a sex, dating, and relationship coach, I understand that some people learn best by reading. That’s why I’m constantly writing new blog posts about sex, dating, and relationships so everyone can access this information. I’m writing here to help you and to start a conversation.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to fix a lack of communication in a relationship | A relationship coach’s step-by-step guide

Communication is critical to the health of any relationship. Often, communication starts off as idyllic and healthy. Over time, it can break down and become strained; that's why you're here, right? If you and your partner are struggling with a lack of communication, you both must take steps to address the issue at hand. What is your overall goal? Improving your communication skills one day at a time. I will take you on a journey to fix the lack of communication in a relationship in this easy-to-understand guide.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Dating Someone With Depression | How you can support yourself and your partner

Mental health awareness is growing every day.

Depression is discussed in nearly every mental health forum, but if you're dating someone with depression, you may feel lost on how to help them.

The fact that you're doing research on this topic shows not only that you care but that you're likely a walking green flag of a partner. Dating someone with depression may seem daunting if you don't have it yourself. However, understanding just a little bit can put you miles ahead.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Sexless Relationship or Different Desire Types? | The three types of sexual desire and what you need to know

Arousal should happen spontaneously and impulsively, right? Wrong. Most people get "sex education" from pornography. We've learned that you should be drop-dead wet as soon as the sexy pizza delivery guy shows up. You should be down to get down. Well, this isn't the case for most of the world. In Emily Nagoski's landmark book, Come as You Are, spontaneous arousal is the exception rather than the rule. There are several types of arousal that you need to consider before you start worrying about your libido.

This won't be the definitive guide to discovering your one arousal type. But instead, give you permission to be curious about which type you feel like each day.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Why You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals | How to build self-trust

We're well into another year, and the time for resolutions has come and gone. You've disappointed yourself again and fallen far from where you wanted to be. That's a normal part of the process of reaching your goals, but should it be? There is a reason why you never follow through on your resolutions. There's a reason why you keep disappointing yourself. There's a reason why you feel stuck and lost. You need to include the secret ingredient of reaching your goals, self-trust.

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Dating Elaine S. Turner Dating Elaine S. Turner

What Does a Dating Coach do? Why you need a dating coach in 2023

Dating coaching is a new advent in finding "the one." Since the pioneers of the matching-making field first arose on social media, the niche has become filled with wannabes and credentialless people trying to help. But one facet of dating coaching many miss. It's the one that sets working with me apart from the noise. It's the you factor. Learning the rules and mechanics of how to look and sound right is essential. However, until you know who you are, you'll keep settling for the wrong person repeatedly. That's what a dating coach does. We help you clarify who you are and solidify who you're looking for. That way, you can go out into the dating world with confidence and a discerning eye.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Are You in a Situationship? Here’s why and how to stop tolerating the dating grey area

Situationships are a hugely controversial topic in the world of dating coaching. It may feel easy to settle for what feels like the only person who will give you the attention you crave. But by settling for someone who refuses to acknowledge your presence in their life, you're doing yourself a huge disservice. Situationships are a plague to those looking for love. They can cover you like a wave of locusts and pick your love optimism to the bones. Don't fall for the situationship cycle. Start changing your experience now.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to Get Space in Your Relationship: Differentiation of self - what it is, why you need it, and how to get it

Relationships can be amazing things. Your partner can be supportive, fun, and your best friend. But on the other end of the spectrum, what happens when you get too close? What happens when you become a singular item and can't get any space for yourself? Resentment builds. Being too close to your partner can actually be a bad thing. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Relationships aren't two halves coming together. They're two whole individuals choosing to be together. They're meant to be complementary, not complete you. You're complete on your own.

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Sex, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Want More Sex in Your Relationship? - My secret tool for bringing back the sex

I've written a lot about how important it is to keep dating your partner. But, I still need to give you my fundamental secret tool, how you can work together to plan a date. Using the 5 love languages to plan date nights is a great way to be thoughtful without putting in too much thought.

These are specific love-language-speaking-intimacy-building-memorable-date-night plans. And yes, it does require a little planning and effort up top. But if you do it properly, you should have years of date nights planned ahead.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

What is a Self-care Menu? Why you need one and how it can help you avoid depressive episodes

The self-care menu is something that I came up with myself to help me cope with depressive episodes.

That's right, even a coach can have depressive episodes.

But the menu is one of the many coping mechanisms which help me get through dark and challenging times.

Just what a self-care menu is, you'll have to keep reading to find out.

By the end of this article, you'll have yet another healthy coping mechanism in your pocket. These self-care menus can help you get through the challenging parts of life easily.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Friends as an Adult - Why you need them and where to make new friends

If you're anything like me, making friends is a challenge. Especially if you're new to an area or you've lost contact with the people in your past, it's a daunting prospect. You weren't taught how to make friends as an adult. So, it's normal to feel paralyzed.

If you're unsure how to make new friends as an adult, let's work through it together.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

How to Handle Rejection From a Guy | A step-by-step guide to help you handle rejection

Dating is a vulnerable experience. You put your heart on your sleeve and try to put yourself out there with great care. But with vulnerability comes hurt, rejection, and questioning your worth. It's all part of the process of how to handle rejection from a guy. Learning how to handle rejection gracefully and cope with it can be a process full of hurt.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Habits of Successful Relationships - How to make your relationship healthier and happier

You're here because you want to have a successful long-term relationship. And we congratulate you on identifying that desire! But how will you be able to determine if you're in a healthy relationship? In order to find the love of your life, you need to start developing successful relationship habits. Knowing these success habits, you can practice them on your own and when you enter into an intimate relationship.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

7 Signs Someone is Emotionally Unavailable - What it means, how to spot it, and how to choose better men

Have you ever gotten into a situationship by accident? The man you went out with in the first place said he was looking for a relationship, but then he back-pedaled? He seems to want all the benefits of having a girlfriend but isn't willing to commit. These actions define emotional unavailability.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

5 Dimensions of Self-Care - How to make your ultimate self-care menu

Self-care is all the rage all the time these days! It's such an essential aspect of your self-development and maintaining your mental health. Often a few shifts in awareness are all it takes to get more self-care into your day-to-day life. But for many people, self-care tends to take a back burner to other "priorities," and it can lead to burnout.

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Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

Keep Dating Fixer-uppers? What they are, why you keep choosing them, and how to stop dating them

Many people love a good project around the house or long-term self-improvement goals. But if you notice your relationships feel like chores, you may be dating fixer-uppers. Supporting someone's self-improvement can be a great asset to a relationship. Still, it shouldn't be a defining factor in the partners you choose. If your entire relationship style is built around reforming a guy, you're in for a world of hurt.

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Dating Elaine S. Turner Dating Elaine S. Turner

The End of Bad Dates - 13 questions to determine compatibility

When you're dating, you don't want to waste your time. You may find people you're interested in, but you feel like some aspects of your personality just don't match up. Maybe you can't put your finger on exactly why you're feeling that way. There may be several reasons. To get to the bottom of it, you should ask specific questions to determine compatibility as partners.

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Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner Sex, Dating, Relationships Elaine S. Turner

The Secret to a Healthy Relationship? Never stop dating your partner

If you've struggled in your relationships before, you've likely come across the rule of "keep dating." But what does that mean? It's exactly what it sounds like. Just because you're living together or even married doesn't mean that you can let go of all romance. Over time, it can be easy to lose sight of the things that shaped who you are as a couple.

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